


To Whom Do the Gods Pray?

by Zenna_Crell47



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Brodinsons, Character Analysis, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, No Romance, Other, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), THOR AND LOKI ACTUALLY HUG!!!, prayer as a concept, still on the ship, we were ROBBED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 22:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19778080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenna_Crell47/pseuds/Zenna_Crell47
Summary: He knows. He has always known. He is a wild thing, untameable, glorious and fierce as the dawn. A future as bright as it is shrouded in darkness. Perhaps he was a monster, but at least he was beginning to learn how to be more honest with himself. Though it was, perhaps, too little, too late.A little peek into Loki’s mind. Post Ragnarok, before anything exciting happens. This is just Loki, and an exploration of his thoughts in a brief moment by himself.





	To Whom Do the Gods Pray?

**Author's Note:**

> If it's not clear by now, I absolutely *adore* Loki. He's one of my favorite characters in the MCU, and he's just so complex. There was a LOT of character development that happened during Ragnarok, and I just had a little plot bunny wander in with the title "To Whom Do the Gods Pray?"  
> Honestly, this turned into something far beyond what I had thought it would be, but I think I like it :3
> 
> A little indulgence while I ponder on what Loki might have been thinking on the ship (I think it's called the Ark, but I might be wrong, feel free to correct me) with all the refugees, once he had a moment to himself.

He knows.

He has always known.

He is a wild thing, untameable, glorious and fierce as the dawn. A future as bright as it is shrouded in darkness. The paradox without end – the Lord of Lies could never see the forest for the trees. And ultimately, he has realized that the biggest lies he has ever told were always to himself.

When he told himself that he was okay. When he told himself that the House of Odin wasn’t his family, had never been. When he told himself that he was lesser than Thor, that everyone thought so… Perhaps he was a monster, but at least he was beginning to learn how to be more honest with himself. Though it was, perhaps, too little, too late.

It was true, what that crack-pot Midgardian "soothsayer" prophesied those years ago. Loki started Ragnarok. And Asgard was all the safer for it. Too many were dead, too many lost to Hela and her vengeful spite; too much history and magic and learning lost to the ages… But at least Asgard, her heart, her people, are safe. For now.

With the Mad Titan on the loose, his power growing ever larger, it is hard to say that anyone or anything or any _place_ is truly safe. And with the Realm Eternal gone, the Nine Realms are all the more vulnerable than ever before.

Loki knows that Thanos will come for him – likely sooner than later. He will have to be quicker, sharper than ever to avoid him for as long as possible… The thought crosses his mind that he’ll probably have to barter his way about the universe. As much as he feels the responsibility of the role he was born to play, the weight of the Crown on his shoulders, he knows there will be no place for him in the planned New Asgard. Not when the noose of failing the Mad Titan draws ever-tighter about his neck.

He wonders if there was something more he could have done as All-Father to prepare them all for the oncoming storm…

No, he thinks. There’s nothing else that could have been done. Anything that might have been of use would have gone down with the planet, and possibly would have been more harm than good, should Hela have caught wind during her slaughter.  Not for the first time, Loki wishes he had the gift of foresight Frigga All-Mother was known for. Perhaps then he could have done something,  _anything_ differently. To spare them even a small fraction of this pain… 

He pauses. Could Frigga have seen this far into the future? Could she have seen the outcome of the universe beyond her death?  Loki idly looked out the viewing port before him. Thor had shown him the star that  had appeared after Frigga’s funeral merely an hour ago, and yet it already brought him great comfort to have that tiny piece of his mother again.  Would she have been proud of him?  Likely not, he considers bitterly.

Loki contemplates the tragedy his life has become with a certain sense of detachment. Yes, he had felt neglected, slighted, forgotten at times, in his youth, but nothing compared to the genuine pain and grief that has become unshakable companions in the past decade or so. Subjectively speaking, he has experienced more pain and loss – physically, mentally, spiritually – within the past few years than even previous generations of Asgardians ever faced in their entire, long lifetimes.

And in that moment, Loki feels very, _very_ old. The strain of his life, though still that of a Prince, has always been a heavy burden and a darkness in his heart. He feels every decade of his life; though he knows that he genetically still has a long life ahead of him still, he cannot bring himself to plan beyond the immediate future for fear of dying with regrets… Well, more regrets than already weigh on him every minute of every day.

“Loki.”

He drew himself out of his thoughts and back to the present, back to the ship, back to the little viewing port away from the rest of the ship where he had secluded himself to simply _think_ … And found Thor standing expectantly in the doorway.

“Brother, it has been decided. We make course now for Midgard,” Thor announced, approaching to stand near the viewpoint too.

Midgard. The very bane of his being. From day one, visiting those primitive creatures (that eventually modeled themselves after the Asgardian fashion) had been nothing but a torment. That was when the prophecy of Ragnarok had been given, after all. And for Loki, no love has been lost for Midgard since that day.

“You _do_ know that they will never accept my presence there, yes? They are not so short-lived that they have already forgotten what happened less than ten years past,” Loki hissed.

“They will be hesitant, that is true,” Thor nodded, “but you are Crown Prince of Asgard, brother. They will learn the truth of those circumstances when it is time. And though they may be reluctant at first, humanity as a whole can be some of the most generous and welcoming beings I have yet met.”

“If only so they can call on you for favors later,” Loki snorted. “Midgardians, or _Terrans_ as they are known throughout the rest of the universe, tend only to grant asylum when it suits them and their selfish ways.”

Thor sighed, “I cannot refute that, but I also cannot say the same for even ourselves. Asgard has had a bloody history, much of which was hidden well before even our own time. But that is why we must go forward now with clear intentions and a peaceful approach. We must set a precedence for future generations…”

Loki couldn’t help but scoff. “You put too much blind faith in people, brother. That is why you are always disappointed, in the end.”

“ Yes, though  I s uppose all we have now is, as my friends would say, a hope and a prayer.”  Thor breezed another great sigh.

Loki gave his brother a disbelieving side-glance. “Thor,  _we_ are the gods to whom your mortal friends would pray. Who, exactly, do you expect would  heed our cries , even if we tried?”

“ Some one who would listen,” Thor replied. “ Sometimes, that is all it takes.”

Loki fell silent.

Both sons of Odin looked out into the cosmos, side by side.  Unconsciously, they both sought out Frigga’s star, and for a moment, it was as if she was there with them, kissing their cheeks and warming their hearts.

Loki knew it was foolish. But he couldn’t shake the thought once it sprung to mind. Frigga, his mother, had always been the best listener when it came to the woes of his youth. Perhaps she would be willing to listen to her son one last time…?

And so Loki closed his eyes and gathered his thoughts. He put every emotion, every worry, every fear, every weakness into a concentrated spot in his mind. He fretted at the sheer vulnerability it caused in him to do this, but at the same time, it was oddly soothing to gather all of those woes into a… mental letter, of sorts. The more that got piled on, the lighter he began to feel. It didn’t eliminate all of those thoughts and fears and worries, but the fact that he acknowledged their existence in his mind seemed to give him a measure of  _peace_ – a commodity meant for the blissfully unaware, he knew. Yet as he finally “sealed” his mental letter, and  _let go_ of it, as though sending it out to his mother, that warmth  **lingered** . 

Perhaps Loki didn’t get that revelation that Midgardians always boast of receiving when communing with their deity, but at least – for once – he felt a little less at war with himself. A little less like he was drowning in despair.

Without a word, Thor first clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, then pulled him in for a tight, bone-crushing hug. Loki didn’t realize till that moment that even through his closed eyes, tears were l eaving trails on his cheeks , and he began to smile even as he fought the urge to sob. 

It took a long moment before he found the strength to return the embrace.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think? Do you agree with me? Do you think Loki would be thinking about something else? Let me know in the comments!  
> And, if you're feeling generous, swing by my ko-fi -- help support me in making more stories like this one!   
> https://www.ko-fi.com/zennacrell


End file.
